Understanding People Who Talk Too Much
Understanding People Who Talk Too Much: Types, Solutions, and Insights
Do you know someone who tends to talk a lot? Or maybe you’ve caught yourself dominating conversations without realizing it.
Understanding why some people talk too much can help you navigate relationships with more ease and confidence. Whether you’re a professional looking to improve communication or someone dealing with chatty loved ones, this article offers practical solutions and valuable insights.
Let’s break it down into the three main types of people who talk too much and explore actionable solutions for each situation.
1. People Who Miss Social Cues
Some people talk too much simply because they miss important social cues. They may not realize that their listener is losing interest or feeling disengaged. Social cues include body language, facial expressions, and other nonverbal feedback that signal when it’s time to pause and check in.
Signs Are Missing Social Cues:
The listener starts fidgeting or appears distracted.
Eye contact is no longer maintained.
Responses become shorter or less engaged.
When someone doesn’t pick up on these signs, they continue talking, unaware that the conversation has become one-sided.
What to Do:
If you’re dealing with someone like this, try gently redirecting the conversation. For example, you can say:
“Let’s take turns! I want to hear about you, and then I’ll share something too.”
This not only breaks the pattern of talking too much but also invites a more balanced, back-and-forth conversation.
2. People With Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is another common reason why people dominate conversations. In social situations, they may feel overwhelmed or unsure of what to say. To cope, they rely on telling stories or sharing endlessly to fill the silence and avoid awkward pauses.
Unfortunately, this approach prevents meaningful connection because it’s not a true dialogue—it’s a monologue driven by nervousness.
What to Do:
When interacting with someone who talks excessively due to anxiety:
Stay calm and avoid absorbing their nervous energy.
Take a deep breath to center yourself and remember: their anxiety isn’t yours.
This helps you remain a bit detached, making it easier to redirect the conversation without feeling frustrated.
3. Self-Centered People
The third—and often most challenging—type of person who talks too much is someone who is self-centered. These individuals may or may not display narcissistic traits, such as a lack of empathy or an inability to focus on others and an intense desire to dominate conversations.
Characteristics of Self-Centered Talkers:
Conversations are one-sided, revolving around their needs, stories, or opinions.
They show minimal interest in your experiences or feelings.
They struggle to tolerate other people’s pain or concerns.
This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re “bad” people, but it does indicate that the relationship may require a different approach.
What to Do:
With self-centered individuals, it’s important to set realistic expectations. If you know someone has limited capacity to listen and empathize, you can:
Lower your expectations of how much support they can offer.
Avoid turning to them during emotionally vulnerable moments.
Seek outside support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can give you the space to feel heard and validated.
If the self-centered person is someone close to you—like a partner or family member—this dynamic can be particularly challenging. In these cases, having a strong support system outside of that relationship is essential for maintaining emotional balance.
Solutions for Dealing With People Who Talk Too Much
Now that we’ve explored the main types of excessive talkers, let’s look at three actionable solutions you can use in any situation.
1. Interject into the Conversation
Sometimes, you simply have to interrupt—and that’s okay! People who talk too much may not pause long enough to invite your input, so you’ll need to jump in and redirect. Try saying something like:
“That’s really interesting! It reminds me of something I wanted to share with you…”
If they interrupt, SAY IT AGAIN. This might take 2-3 times but sometimes this works.
This approach helps you interject without being confrontational while creating space for your perspective.
2. Share Your Own Story Without Waiting for Permission
Excessive talkers—whether anxious, self-focused, or unaware—may not ask about your thoughts or experiences. That doesn’t mean you can’t share. Instead of waiting for permission, confidently volunteer your own story:
“Hey, something happened to me recently that I’d love to tell you about…”
Take the initiative to start the conversation. By doing so, you’re modeling balanced communication while ensuring your voice is heard. Plus, you’re giving yoruself permission to go first!
3. Bring It Up as an Issue
If excessive talking is a recurring issue in a relationship, consider addressing it directly but kindly. For example:
“I’ve noticed that when we talk, we focus a lot on you but not much on me. I’d really like to change that so we can both share more equally.”
This honest feedback can help raise awareness. Pay attention to their response:
Healthy response: “I didn’t realize I was doing that! I definitely want to hear more about you.”
This shows self-awareness and a willingness to change.
Unhealthy response: “I think we talk about you plenty.” or “I don’t see a problem.”
This may indicate a more self-centered mindset that may require detachment.
If their response shows a lack of empathy or accountability, it’s a signal to reassess the relationship. Lower your expectations, focus on self-care, and prioritize connections with people who value mutual sharing and respect.
Final Thoughts
Understanding why people talk too much—and learning how to navigate those conversations—can significantly improve your relationships. Whether someone is missing social cues, struggling with anxiety, or naturally self-centered, the key is to approach the situation with clarity, confidence, and compassion.
Remember, you have the right to be heard. By sharing first, interrupting when you’re being cut off, and addressing the issue directly when necessary, you’re creating healthier, more balanced conversations.
If you’re dealing with someone who is unwilling to change, it’s okay to set boundaries and adjust your expectations. For instance, a powerful boundary is to simply let them know you neede to leave - then leave!
Not everyone will offer the support you need, but that doesn’t mean you can’t build fulfilling connections elsewhere.
Take the next step toward healthier communication today. Prioritize relationships that empower you, and don’t be afraid to advocate for your own voice—you deserve to be heard.
If you’d like more tools to assess the health of your relationships, check out this free relationship checklist. It’s a helpful resource to better understand your dynamics, recognize patterns, and identify next steps toward building stronger, more fulfilling connections.
You’ve got this!