Although there will likely be fewer parties and large social events due to the pandemic, the amount of alcohol usage is a real concern. The amount of stress people have had to endure has tested our coping skills to the absolute limit.

If you’re concerned about your drinking or someone else’s this holiday season - here are some tips that can help.

If drinking might be an issue, ask yourself...

• Do you drink or use substances to cope with stress?

• Do you find yourself drinking more because everyone else is?

• Do you want to say no when offered drinks but don't want to be called out?

• Do you regret what happens after you drink or use?

• Is drinking just easier than having to deal with life?

Make a Plan to Get through the Holidays

The holidays often bring up painful memories but this year will be different. Issues of grief and loss have added an enormous amount of stress. Making a plan will help you minimize the stress.

The more tools you have, the less likely you are to drink excessively. If you’re interested in finding out more about Alcoholics Anonymous read my article on Busting the Myths of 12 Step Programs.

Here are some ideas so you don't fall into destructive drinking behaviors.

• Commit to less drinking and text a buddy for support.

• Try limiting your use to avoid relationship problems.

• Remember that drinking contributes to escalated arguments.

• Don't drink if you plan to drive.

• Find healthy ways to de-stress like exercise, meditation and staying connected to your support system.

• Check out Alcoholics Anonymous, if you or your family is concerned.

Peer Pressure Isn't Just for Teens

You might find that it’s hard to say no when you’re with friends. Let them know you're gonna take it easy this year.

Know that there may be some push back but don’t except others to change. Make a joke out of it. Keep it light and polite and move on! 

If friends react negatively, understand that they might just want their drinking buddy back. In AA there's a saying about "attraction not promotion" which means be the example, not the teacher. People want to decide for themselves. 

Family Drama

Do you notice that drinking gives everyone permission to say things that they wouldn't normally say? It's called "liquid courage" that allows you to vent old resentments and hidden anger. This can create embarrassing situations that you wish you could take back.

If you plan to see family this year (hopefully practicing socially safe protocols), here are some tips.

Tips on How to Avoid Family Drama

• Find ways to relax before going to stressful events.

• Avoid hot topics that ignite arguments.

• Take a time-out if you find yourself reacting.

• Leave early if you need to take care of yourself.

• Call or text a friend for support.

• Stay away from participating in gossip.

• Be accountable for your part instead of blaming others.

It helps to focus on safe topics like what's going well, or subjects that create unity. Avoid getting involved in a heated debate about politics or other highly charged topics. 

If someone else’s addiction is bothering you, check out my online mini-course for Surviving the Holidays When Your Loved One Is Addicted.

Safe Drinking Limits

Did you know that incidents of drunk driving, domestic violence and alcohol-related deaths increase even for the non-alcoholic during the holidays?

According to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse safe drinking limits are:

• No more than 14 drinks a week for a man and 7 drinks a week for a woman and

• On one occasion no more than 4 drinks for a man and 3 drinks for a woman.

If you're over that, it may be time to look at your alcohol use. This doesn't mean that you're an alcoholic, but you're on the edge of drinking more than what’s recommended by the experts.

If you're reacting to this blog right now, let me say this. Don’t get stuck on the label. Alcoholism consists on a continuum from light, social drinking to daily drinking - but there is a lot in between that’s still harmful. Only you can decide. Ask a trusted friend for feedback or if you’re willing to - check out an AA meeting.

If someone you love is struggling, share this with them. Click here for my article on Detachment for Surviving Addiction.

I’ve created a private resource library including my Relationships Checklist to help you assess your relationships.