Counseling Recovery, Michelle Farris, LMFT

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How to Start Inner Child Work in Codependency

How to Start Inner Child Work in Codependency Recovery

Inner child healing is a transformative journey that can help you reconnect with your authentic self. It can also deepen your codependency recovery. When you start working with your inner child, you nurture the vulnerable, emotional part of you that still carries unhealed wounds from childhood.

In this article, we’ll break down what inner child healing means, why it’s important, and how you can start creating a meaningful connection with this part of yourself.

Let’s dive in!

What Does Inner Child Healing Mean?

Your inner child represents the child-like part of you—the one that feels small, vulnerable, and emotionally reactive. It’s the part of you that still holds onto childhood experiences, both good and bad.

Inner child work is the process of getting to know, understand, and nurture this part of yourself. It involves recognizing that those unresolved childhood emotions don’t disappear; instead, they often show up in our adult lives, affecting our relationships, emotional health, and overall sense of self.

Take a moment to reflect: Have you ever felt that child-like vulnerability pop up unexpectedly? That’s your inner child calling for your attention. Healing starts with acknowledging them.

Why Is Inner Child Work Important?

For many people who struggle with codependency, unmet childhood needs or past abuse played a big role. To survive difficult experiences, you may have learned codependent behaviors, like people-pleasing, suppressing your emotions, or relying on others for validation and comfort.

As an adult, this can show up as:

  • Low self-esteem

  • Difficulty setting boundaries

  • Overly dependent on external approval

  • Disconnection from your true self

  • Staying in toxic relationships to avoid being alone

Inner child healing is important because it allows you to address these deep-rooted patterns. By connecting to your inner child, you create a safe space to:

  • Process unhealed pain

  • Relearn how to meet your emotional needs

  • Build healthier relationships with yourself and others

Instead of constantly seeking comfort and answers outside of yourself, you’ll learn to nurture your inner world. This is a powerful step in building self-trust and confidence.

What Is Codependency Recovery?

Codependency recovery is all about learning to have healthy, mutually satisfying relationships without losing yourself in the process.

When codependency develops, it often leads to an unhealthy dependency on others for emotional fulfillment. In recovery, one of the most important goals is to build a stronger sense of self. This means learning how to:

  • Love and validate yourself

  • Meet your own emotional needs

  • Feel confident and secure within yourself

Inner child work is an essential part of this process. By healing that vulnerable, child-like part of you, you reduce the unhealthy need for approval and connection from others. Instead, you create a solid foundation of self-love and self-compassion that empowers you to live authentically.

How Do You Connect With Your Inner Child?

If you’re ready to connect with your inner child, here are a few actionable techniques you can try:

1. Journal Writing

Write to your inner child using your dominant hand. Then, switch to your non-dominant hand to let your inner child respond. This exercise helps you tap into that child-like part of yourself and understand their needs, fears, and emotions.

2. Visualization

Close your eyes and visualize your inner child at a specific age. Picture what you looked like, what you wore, and where you were. Then, imagine meeting this younger version of yourself in a safe, comforting space. Offer them love, support, and reassurance.

3. Revisit Childhood Comforts

Think back to the simple things that brought you joy or comfort as a child. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal, a blanket, or a creative activity? Find something that feels comforting now—in a healthy way—and let yourself enjoy it.

4. Practice Daily Self-Care

Inner child work often starts with simple, everyday acts of self-care. This can include:

  • Setting boundaries

  • Prioritizing rest and relaxation

  • Engaging in activities that bring you joy

When you consistently show up for yourself, you build trust with your inner child and strengthen your emotional foundation.

How Do You Build a Lasting Connection With Your Inner Child?

Building a lasting connection with your inner child takes time, patience, and consistency. Here are a few key strategies:

1. Check In Regularly

Make an effort to check in with your inner child daily. Ask yourself how they’re feeling and what they need. This creates a sense of safety and reassurance.

2. Earn Their Trust

If your inner child has been hurt or ignored for years, they may need time to trust you. Honor their feelings without judgment. Be gentle, patient, and kind as you rebuild this relationship.

3. Practice Healthy Self-Soothing

Develop healthy ways to comfort both your adult self and your inner child. Techniques like tapping (EFT), meditation, or deep breathing exercises can help you regulate emotions and provide a sense of calm during difficult moments.

4. Seek Support When Needed

At some point, deeper layers of pain may surface. Therapy can be an invaluable resource for processing unresolved childhood trauma. A trusted therapist can guide you through this journey and provide the support you need.

Remember, healing is not linear. It’s a process of learning, unlearning, and showing up for yourself—one small step at a time.

Final Thoughts

Inner child healing is a powerful tool in your codependency recovery journey. By connecting with the child-like part of yourself, you learn to meet your own emotional needs, nurture your vulnerabilities, and reclaim your authentic self. This process takes time, but every effort you make brings you closer to healing and wholeness.

Start small. Whether it’s writing to your inner child, visualizing a safe space, or practicing daily self-care, each step matters.

You deserve to feel loved, seen, and supported—not just by others but by yourself. Commit to showing up for your inner child, and watch how your relationship with yourself and others transforms.

Your healing begins today. Are you ready to take the first step?

If this article resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. Together, let’s spread healing, connection, and self-love.

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