When people are truly understood, they feel cherished.

We all want to be loved but knowing exactly what makes a person feel loved takes some investigating. Finding those people who really “get us” doesn’t happen everyday.

In this blog you’ll learn exactly how to make your partner feel extra special.

Healthy relationships take time to nurture. What used to seem effortless in the beginning now takes work. Over time, showing love in the way they can relate to deepens the connection. Knowing what your partner needs can make all the difference, especially when there has been hurt or betrayal.

Learning What’s Important to Your Partner

By learning a person's love language they will feel incredibly special - like you know them better than anyone else.

Thanks to Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages, it’s pretty simple to put into practice. His book teaches five different ways people interpret love. It’s an easy shortcut to meeting each others needs.

Everyone interprets loved differently based on their background and relationship history. Some prefer one specific love language while others like a few. By understanding these love languages, loving becomes a whole lot easier.

So let's get started.

1. Acts of Service

This person sees helpful actions as acts of love. If this is your partner's love language, giving gifts isn't going to make a great impression, not because they aren’t appreciative, but because it’s not what they want.

Find ways to show your love by doing things they will appreciate. Housework will make them feel like you’re sharing the load. If they mentioned needing help and you forget, they will feel like you’ve forgotten them. They will likely take it personally because it’s so important to them.

The great thing about this love language is that it’s super easy to practice. If you’re not sure what they want, just ask. They’ll appreciate the question.

Examples of Acts of Service:

• Stepping in to help when the person is stressed (or better yet, before)

• Daily chores that would lighten their load

• Initiating certain tasks or errands without being asked

2. Words of Encouragement

If your partner's love language is words of encouragement, they feel loved with kind words, praise and compliments. Saying “I love you” several times a day is their dream.

These people need to hear verbally that they matter. Without that, they don't feel known by their partner. If you’re the silent type, write loving notes or texts. Giving compliments gets more comfortable with practice. Believe me, it’ll make a big difference!

Examples of Words of Encouragement:

• Giving compliments and praise

• Noticing positive changes in what they do

• Saying “I love you” several times instead of once in awhile

• Acknowledging a person’s efforts and contributions

3. Quality Time

If your partner’s biggest complaint is not spending enough time together, quality time is likely their love language. These people crave time together though the activity almost doesn’t matter. It’s being together that counts.

This gets to be a challenge when someone works a lot or travels for business. Because their free time is limited, it’s easy for the other partner to feel neglected. Getting called in to work can cause a major fight. They are super disappointed and this is why!

Examples of Quality Time:

• Making time together a priority

• Offering to do something together instead of apart

• Spending more time together than with outside hobbies or friends

People who crave quality time appreciate making plans for a weekend getaway. Making a “fun date coupon” becomes a meaningful gift.

4. Gift Giving

You know when this is your partner’s love language because birthdays and holidays are a big deal. They equate the gift-giving with how much people care. Sometimes the amount spent on the gift(s) or the number of gifts indicates how much they think you care.

It’s not because they’re greedy. More than likely, this person grew up in a family where gift-giving was the main expression of love.

Examples of Gift Giving

• Making an effort to plan something special for their birthday

• Buying little, sentimental gifts throughout the year

• Lots of gifts to show how much they are loved

5. Physical Touch

The last love language is physical touch. This person feels loved by affection and prioritizing a healthy sexual relationship. A simple gesture of touch makes all the difference to them. When affection is absent, the person feels disconnected. Men typically have this as a primary love language.

Examples of Physical Touch

• Daily hugs and kiss

• Prioritizing the sexual relationship

• Gifts of massage

Final Thoughts

Most people make a conscious effort to love their partner as best they can but they often make one mistake; they give from their own love language. They assume that the other person wants what they want. Even when a couple shares the same love language, there can be subtle differences. Knowing how to practice your partner's love language will give them exactly what they crave.