Although I love the holidays, I’m relieved when they’re over. Thankfully, the stress of running around gets replaced with new energy to start fresh in the New Year.

The New Year creates a chance to start fresh and leave the past behind.

It’s the perfect time of year to contemplate next steps. In this blog you’ll learn simple tools to heal past hurts and start fresh.

Moving Forward Means Letting Go

Sometimes moving forward requires letting go of what isn’t working. Maybe you’ve lost someone special or you’ve had something unexpected happen that threw you off balance.

With any major change there is loss - even when we are the ones wanting change. Unfortunately, society doesn’t encourage feelings of grief for very long so they tend to get buried.

The end of the year is the perfect time to resolve the hurt and let it go.

For more help on letting go read 10 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love.

Tips for Letting Go

Letting go takes time. It can’t be forced or rushed because most people won’t let go until the pain of letting go outweighs the fear of holding on.

In order to do this, you’ll need plenty of support. Letting go is exhausting so you might not have as much energy. If you lack support, consider these alternatives.

Options for additional support:

• 12 step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Overeaters Anonymous to name a few (they have one for almost every problem).

• Meetups that focus on a particular hobby like sports, sewing, personal growth etc.

• Join a church or spiritual center with lots of activities.

• Consider group therapy for more intensive support (which is more affordable than individual counseling).

Use 12 Step Slogans to Keep Focused

12 step slogans are little sayings that correct negative thoughts. They serve as little attitude adjustments when life disappoints us.

If you’re going through a hard time, use these sayings to bring yourself back into the present moment.

Here are a few popular sayings:

• Live and Let Live

• Keep It Simple 

• One Day at a Time

• This Too Shall Pass 

• Easy Does It

For more about 12 step slogans click here to read How 12 Step Slogans Work.

Set Your Intention

Each year I pick a word or phrase that becomes my intention for the year. Strive to get better at one thing. It could be finding a hobby because you work too much or not yelling at your kids. Maybe you need to find healthier ways to deal with stress. 

It can be anything. Just pick that one thing that would make your life easier.

There's no “right” way to do this. Set an alert in your cell phone with your intention to go off each week. That will serve as a gentle reminder to support your growth.

I had my own lesson in humility right before Christmas. I made a big mistake financially only to realize that after spending a lot of time and money trying to fix it, I didn't make the mistake at all!

This was humbling but it taught me a valuable lesson. Fear prevented me from double checking my facts. Being present and slowing down was the lesson. So I get it, I'm right there with you!

Practicing acceptance requires letting an experience go once it's over. Reliving it in your mind just prolongs the pain. 

Healing Old Hurts

Is there an experience from this past year that you want to let go of? Maybe an old resentment or hurt that needs healing?

Writing is a powerful way to heal these old hurts because with clarity comes relief. Are you willing to try it?

Writing Exercise:

1. Write the story of a resentment or hurt that is still causing you pain.

2. Find how this pain is hurting you. For instance, does it impact your self-esteem, ability to trust or have you avoided the person because of this hurt?

3. Be willing to acknowledge your part in the situation. What did you do to contribute to the situation either directly or indirectly.

4. Decide what action, if any you need to take as a result.

Only by letting go of the past can we create something new.

Remember that even in the worst of circumstances, there are gifts.

Give yourself the opportunity to start fresh, forgive yourself for past mistakes and acknowledge your progress. THAT takes courage and that's what I love to support you in!

To 2023...let's make it a good one!